Am I being punked?

Yesterday was a long day, by about 8 pm I was all the way done. I’m in my bedroom trying to watch shark tank in peace when Janiah, my oldest daughter comes in and proceeds to tell me her little brother peed on himself and it’s on her hands. My son is four years old, from time to time he has an accident but he is potty trained. I asked Janiah to put him in the bath tub and change his clothes. She left, I continued watching shark tank.

A few minutes pass by and I hear a lot of commotion so I drag my nine-month pregnant belly out of bed to see whats going on. I get to the living room and I see KJ in the tub with the SHOWER running, curtain wide open, floor getting wet, and his baby sister standing there trying to grab his penis (she was obviously curious what that was). Janiah is in the living room and as I walk out I see her push Aanijah to the ground, there are toys everywhere it looks like the living room got hit by a tornado. I took a deep breath and asked Jesus to be a Xanax. When Janiah realized I was standing there fear overtook her immediately.

I felt like I was being punked like people were going to jump out and say “gotcha!!!” Then it hit me, this is my life, this is real. This is typical. People talk about how wonderful and great kids are and how they are such a blessing and yes, they are all these things but sometimes they are also the reason you contemplate if you could survive in jail. All I could think was in two weeks there will be another one, what have I done.

Needless to say, bedtime came early last night. Janiah dropped the ball but I have to give credit where credit is due and my daughter is one of the most mature 9-year-olds I know. She handles those kids like a pro. If she sees that I’m in a mood she does her best to keep them from bothering me, she feeds them, she changes diapers, she’s pretty amazing and I don’t know what I’d do without her. I think it’s only fair that she actually get to be a kid once in a while, she’s already saying she doesn’t want any kids but I think she’ll grow out of that and if not I have four other kids to potentially make me a glam’ ma.

That’s a long ways off so, for now, I will just try to get through the next 10 years or so without losing my mind or anonymously leaving a five-year-old at the fire station. It’s a headache, it’s usually chaos in my house, and sometimes I hide in the bathroom but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world because, in some weird way, it’s everything I always wanted.

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