It’s easy to lose yourself when you become a mom. Finding a healthy balance between parenting, personal relationships, and personal time can be very challenging. Moms have a tendency to feel the need to be everything to everybody and the truth of the matter is that is just not possible. Most times while we are busy trying to please others we are simultaneously neglecting ourselves. There are three things that you need to do daily to keep your sanity as a mother.
- Make time for yourself!
Find a time during the day or night where you can be alone, even if only for a few minutes, and reflect on your desires, goals, and feelings. My time is early in the morning while my kids and husband are sleeping. I use this time to pray, meditate, think, and plan. Once you make this a habit, having time to yourself, it becomes much easier to be patient and control your emotions. For me, it gives me a sense of clarity and peace. Inner peace is so important and it is something we often take for granted. We just go day to day going through the motions. Don’t get lost in your kids, remember who you are, what you want out of life besides being a mom, and never stop reaching for it.
2. Set Boundaries
My kids always want to be where I am, whether I’m in my bedroom, or in the bathroom, THEY ARE ALWAYS THERE. I’ve learned through trial and error the importance of setting boundaries. Things like knock before you enter my room and don’t talk to me through the bathroom door unless someone is bleeding or has a broken bone. My kids know I’m a writer, so if they see me typing or writing they know not to bother me unless it’s important. Even with my oldest daughter, I set boundaries because if I let her she will literally talk me to death! I make myself available as much as possible and if I sense it is something important that she needs me for I will always stop what I’m doing and listen.
3. Don’t let fear control you
“The only thing to fear is fear itself” This is so true. When my parents died and I was raising my two younger sisters I was still a baby myself and I was so afraid. I was constantly afraid of making the wrong decision, being too soft or too hard on them, letting them hang out with friends I didn’t know, everything scared me. I was scared that the choices I was making would turn them into reckless irresponsible adults. Today they are both college graduates, the first in our immediate family to be such. They are both wonderful, smart, compassionate human beings. I realize as long as you love your kids, and you teach them right from wrong, they will ultimately choose the right path. It may not be the one you would have chosen for them, but they will grow into someone you can be proud of. Fear is just an illusion.